motionlessness

im sitting still
another day in this chair
helplessly hooked on drab
hugged by the habit again
its extremities kneading my wings
weeks float by
i cough

today i change! i say
A NEW DAY!
as i remember hours of past
when i actually DID the labour

new patterns need to emerge!
as i rearrange the beat of this week
current flow is only stress
i tell myself while dreaming of its simplicity
another tempo needs to be played
more effort in the slog
less easy, more hard
i tell myself while i move painless today

just another day
keep yourself loved (by yourself)
tell yourself there is a tomorrow
and you will amuse that accent again
that language only you can make out
find your strength! (oy vey)
what an old chestnut i think
as i nut again
just to identify as living

today i changed
at least one thing
tomorrow another
and another
and so it goes
they say...
...i anticipate

come on, its more than that
rearrange
reschedule
set up and
reshuffle
fluff up, my boy!
clock the effort
sweat out those donkey duties
and run this function, i tell ya!

i love this ardour in you
now shit out the turds
and sell this zeal to the lifeless
god damn it

i heard ya i heard ya
i fathom the memo
the note is on my desk
i read it twice, yesterday
and will read it again, tomorrow
so in the end...
...the engine will start, no worries there
and my expression will find its organ
but for now i will close this txt
eat an egg
and sit here again
not completely static anymore
i ruffled some dust
and opened some whoop-ass on y'all
but that is not "DOING IT"
so far
its us
sunk in