im cutting a movie
im cutting a movie
im cutting away
as i did before
cutting cutting
cutting away
more weight to it this time
heavy lies the paranoia
as i blunder thru these sequences
my first movie
a movie
a real fucking movie
more like an overhyped music video
i tell ya
shut your fucking cunt
self doubt raped by egomania
i cut in my insecurities
another sequence
another little story
of a lost person
oh my oh my you think
another helpless boy
go to therapy!
another hour
another 200 buckaroos
what does she think
when i tell her i want hegel in my bitches
back to the grindset bruski
another day another little scene
it forms
it feels
its me
a fucking movie
who would have thought
could have done it before
but this is the right time
it feels good
nothing does
ok chill emo hoe
family is great
isolation helps with the progress
music feeds me with young blood
so what is there to whine about?
nothing
my brain feels like hurting me again
its not nothing
its a movie
so why you call it that
why I call it that
its not another person
hunting you
bewildered
constant side changes
only the current craft
draws a red line to follow
and i follow
cut the movie, man
DO IT
keep at it
this is the way
what else is there
your mom, your cousins and nephews and this
im proud of you
im happy with you
im good at this
im cutting a movie
and its a draft, if not finished
2023-06-13
im cutting a movie
2023-05-15
its big business
who is ruling you
where does the money come from
how does it flow
what does it create
who is the crown
in deep waters
lost
and alone
we cry out for change
as i said before
change costs.
are you paying for it?
with your life?
with your hard earned cash?
bills in hand
screaming!
HERE I AM
A HUMAN!
i have a voice
and something to say
will you listen
or speak over me
the money does
as i watch another episode
of big-budget social critique
hbo showing off
a dream to follow
i get lulled into
THINK!
but forget
dont go out
dont actually do something about it
stay in
watch
talk about it
even raise your voice
"you see!"
thats what i told you
big business
the enemy
selling off
our emotions
our only hope
our only chance
our only trade
a barter
another pretentious mind
writing down thoughts of rebellion
against who
the power of capital?
dont you wanna be part of it
part money
part human
who needs them
down there
who am i even
to fucking align
myself to them
poor basterds
scraping
hungry
cold
who are they?
if not me.
rambling again
following a notion
drunk
10 euro whiskey down my throat
its a weekday
you listen
i hope
utterly scared
that this is a waste
of time
and mind
listening to somebody
who could not rile up
a hand full of change
from these big buddies
with their big accounts
its a brand portfolio
and im not part of it
got off track
in your drunken stupor
lush ideas
something to say!
you remind yourself
that you are...
a human.
worth something
they dont see that
how should they
robots
the ai is nothing new
middle management
is birthing them for eons
branding is their face
money is their heart
consumers the slaves
and souls are dead
nothing new on tv
business as usual
coffee is for closers only
you call yourself a salesman
where is your office
paid your taxes
before you even get a job
commie faggot
for years in your room
screaming for equality
and gettin overlooked
when it finally arrives
its big business bubbe
and its prize is freedom
only one thing counts
the scrutiny of the customer
ARE YOU INTERESTED
do i have your attention
the kids scream
as i screamed
for ice cream
did i get my scoop?
or was i left with just a wiff
i remain productive!
it may take brass balls to sell
but bronze ones to persist
as i get more and more fractured
into dialectic with my own timidness
and shriek about hegel and deleuze
to apparently awake minds
when they are locked up in self therapy and tik tok reformation
all hustlers crave publicity
i say to myself
and wave away another misunderstanding
another human interaction that lead to a dead end
im not woke im tired
the message of free enterprise is gay
stay a slave to the freewheeling commonwealth of cheap product
and you will be permitted your sodomy
or hate it.
with you whole body and heart
cause our subsidiary has the good shepherd plushy on sale for you too
praise the ends and ignore all the means
anything, except shrinking profits
you cant cope?
well crucifixion awaits the non believers
our city sold to cocktail parties
another branded sideshow
filled with giddy whirl of thieves
cheap and greed as nourishment for the 'left'
finally a black woman playing the tunes!
as the same white quacks, clowns and philistines
fill their gimp pockets with your consciousness
what a social event
everybody was there, politically pure, fought the patriarchy
paid by specks of dust
from old money fonds
charity is not taxed you know
we only want a mite of your essence
as they viciously tear whole chunks out of you
an inhuman orgy fueled by guestlists and free rum
everybody anti establishment until they get the invite
one victory after another for big money
a new branch opened, another office build
and only the nine-to-fivers get the chance to shine
what a heap i think
in my boxers, pale and pessimistic
another blow out for the status quo
with non-transparent windows tinted in rainbows
where are the revolutionaries?
i whine to myself in gucci slippers, while slurping on instant coffee
did i sold out too?
or am i the last mammoth without a boss
as they turn to jelly at the sight of cameras
i turn away
im not a trained pig
and when other mill around like sheep
waiting for the photographer to push the magic button
so they can say
I WAS THERE
i feel sad that i wasn't
but also vigorously unshackled
blood pumping thru my veins again
what they disposing off
at horrendous tolls
i ain't buying
their luxury smells like day-old shit
shutting it out
goin to war for myself again
keep a childish flame fed
'poor' me against the illiterate infidels
delusional
with absolute morality?
may be.
if you think something,
then be that thing.
i tell myself
look forward or look back...
that's life.
here is your moment
use it
heave yourself out
of self administered fright
whats the point of worry
they gonna make a buck
you gonna have too
they gonna spend some of it
you gonna have too
in the end
what is left
besides us
is only big business
2023-05-02
cold sunny day
cold sunny day
this second of may
nose drippy
immune system shell shocked
we rode a wild horse again
cowboy stories i tell ya
wild west tunes
on a black mount
and this in my old age
weathered it makes me
a face for the billboards
dont get off track
follow the script
im a professional after all
all these years
doing it
educated man
one eye always open
two at times
as long as there are bastards to fight
even if the struggle is a shirt now
on sale free shipment arrival notification
the full monty
show your flag
live!
but dont have too much fun
we happy that you proud!
but keep that shit silent
change and possibilities
but with a hefty price tag
revolution is a hashtag
nostalgic sentiments
if the pasts were different
but what do i know
seen it all
standing around
look a place of rebellion
another symbol
another temple
counterculture with a dresscode
lost youths in their 50s
all made a pilgrimage
showed it to the man
bought a beer
maybe a line on the toilet
laughed at the coppers
shared how deep our minds
pulled us in, or out of the machine
a great mind, can go a long way!
they say
one slogan
after another
what should we fight
where should we go
to the park then
some speed
another beer
a change of pace
they talk they laugh
they are alone
cock jokes
sucking cock
and who is supposed to do the sucking
another bump
refreshing
nose itches
life is good
you see
a kid can really make it these days
just use your wit
dont be lazy
punks not dead
just richer
sober
vegan
never gets old
forever young
remastered
a joint effort
and brand conform
a wild beast
one of a kind
son of a gun
pistolero
all that jazz
you have to show it if you know it
let them see the light
show them whats what
ask
say
hey i need that cash
cause i know whats what
i got it in me
thats what you need to do
than you make it
this year or the next
another year
another dream
another form of expression
piles of unseen wisdom
narcissistic bullshit
another aging white men
drinking himself to death
o weh o weh
he cries out as nobody listens
cold sunny spring day
one writes
another day
another toke
another movie
nose drippy
immune system shocked
but familiarly content
doing it my way
the pro way
in between filthy foreigners, aging goths and spring raver princesses
navy prada suit fascists and property gambling liberals
surrounded by power hungry closeted hands of the state
kevlar vest in formation
securing parameters
for the real estate value of the neighborhood
smashed bottles, piss and burning cars
dont look good in the brochures!
but great on the news
execute the whole lot
they say
eco hippies
ugly feminists
all those devilish gays
are yarn to be fed
to the gluttonous and righteous masses
we have to keep them unharmed at all cost
a sausage in every yap
blonde vaginas
and leather balls
for everybody
keep em occupied
keep em safe
gotta stay safe
i feel safer already
say
do they arouse themselves with their batons
touch them gently
comradery in the barracks
oil it stroke it
put it in
pull it out
smash somebodies skull in
leave them there
and blame it on the immigrants
a good day
for an upstanding citizen
the law was upheld
nobody harmed
you can go home now
one day
we grant you
youve seen the freaks
youve had your k
talked about intersectionality
and showed your nipple
dont you have a job?
tmrrw we forget
business as usual
the fight goes on
but quietly
in your home pls
dont peak out
keep earning
make your parents proud
pay off your debts
build the future
we didnt
we didnt care
it just needs to make money
thats it
you got this
you a stud bud!
cringe and shiver
this room is cold
another toke
another step
nose drippy
a cold sunny day
2022-12-04
borders
we put up fortified perimeters
around us
our fields
our places of birth
and ourselves
we don't want them with us!
we don't want them to come!
we don't want them to travel thru either
you know what we don't want them at all.
them
are you them?
am i them?
thems the breaks
the policemen tells the lady in french
she breaks
her road is a disrupted one
disconnected by their command
jurisdictions, more borders to jump
we have to line them out!
show 'em what goes and what doesn't
how these savages will learn?
don't call me a Fascist tho
my only control is over their body
tighten their feelings a bit
show 'em whats what
those rules always apply here y'know
and i won't be the one to attack the law
just to irk
another white face lefty
with the cause and all!
just here with them
with „them“
(today) i'm one of „them“
knew the pain but never sat in it
i, to blow my own whistle, will survive
sit on an expensive plane seat out of this respectful nether world, very soon
my work lead me to be prepared for this
you can say i almost chose to be here
but what if this is your imposed doom?
i know i know
another perverse tourist of pain
a privileged seat
to be a witness to reality
but why choose to differentiate again
like they deserve this right?
their fault! why they try that shit, right?
fuck 'em and their impetus to change
my mother was them
i hope yours too
so we didn't have to be
not in "our" country
and not in "theirs"
but law is real man
order is real
no matter the community colour
power is held above us all
the copper accepts it as true
he will fight you for this meager seat
proud to suck the nobilities tit
the leaders cock
the fat cats residue
the investors blessing
and the companies estate
he is appointed
a tru hero
upholds the truth
for them
against us
so what do i leave you with
my usual pretentious hippie crap
no borders, no justice, eh?
the usual neo nazi go to gob
LAW AND ORDER above everything, my friend
no
im with the afflicted on this one
imprisoned flesh
a human
just wants to go home
especially if you cant
cross made up lines drawn by mad men
and their club swingin' goons
let them all in
weed out the weed
educate
purpose and programs
not another pig
different uniform
different face
but still upholding
which we all tried to flee from
yesterday
today
and days after
this will not stop any of us, i think
while i finally board a flight
to the next mystical place
which will allow me to carve out my story
i pray and hope (sic!)
that she will board a transport too
which will carry her body over that last outline
change of weather
finally home
finally save
finally over that border
i just wanted to breathe a bit
i just wanted to breathe
i just wanted to finish some tunes
somewhere warm
too much to ask?
just wanted to feel something
to ignite myself
find quiet
walk into unknown streets
let the gleam and scents uplift me
and i got that
sadly slimmed down
the first stop was granted
the second never came
did i put too much pressure on it
or was it just not the right time
i feel abandoned by the wraiths of genius
yet the steps are in front of me
one foot at the time my child
take a breath
check the map
and off we go
tomorrow you will be farther than today
2022-08-16
big corporations
another job
something to do
don't need it
but the rates are fun
couple days and i can buy your month
not bragging
just me
somehow i land here
is the universe trying to communicate?
as i look at the species involved
i don't identify as the same race
you can say im racist against the whole lot
all those emails
all those analyses
investigating if it's still making money
in my eyes they all kickin' a dead corpse
its new
its fresh
its the same one you already own
but now its slightly different
some colour changes here and there
don't get confused
spend now!
buy!
keep the rates up
we all have rent to pay
more commerce
more commodities
more slave labour
more slave consumers
you can't without it
you need it
they make u stare at it
in your browser
in your magazine
in your head
a million images
how one thing goes with another
now it's essential
you didn't know
its out now
you didn't hear?
well that's why we do dis
so you don't forget
know your place
why you not spending?
i ask again
why you not spending?
don't you wanna feel accomplished
satisfied
part of our philosophy
the philosophy of selling you shit
a pure p. manzoni if u ask me
is there a difference between magical thought
and the thought of magic
they all sweat together here
a mill of thought if you so will
and still i don't feel the sparks
‘real’ creativity
what a laugh
of course that is my opinion only
i always had something against these structures
i pop in
i conjure a bag
and disappear into the mist
piss off to my world
they do not
they stay
i couldn't
and i never did
do i envy them?
i envy security
sometimes
but also i distrust a person so secure in security
security above life
fuck that
i trust my otherworldly urge
which has no place in those structures
how can you create here?
if the overlords need you at 7 am
production arrives first
production leaves last
thank god for their rates
thank god tomorrow im gone
my own overseer again
thank god im not depending on it
thank god i am god
tomorrow i rule
tomorrow im free
tomorrow i do not have to ask
free from this pressure to make this heap pretty
free from the same selling pitch since the 80s
free from the ‘client’
and their cold grip on mankinds perception of itself
i dont kneel
i am a mercenary
i kill for y'all if you pay right
i murder their spirit today
but tomorrow im gone
shoveling my own dung
and you?
what do you plump for?
the aloneness of boundless expanse
or the warm embrace of your favorite
big corporation
you tell me
lunch break starts in 5 anyway
2022-08-13
pure joy