for years now
i gamble with my wit
with an infantile easiness
when and where
i will be ambushed
by uncontrollable lunacy
at which unearthly hour
i will be clubbed down by frenzy
how much can i bear
how much am i able to stomach
humans
ain't they pretty
pus-filled nose zit of the earth
smelling
sacks of old meat
puffin' and huffin'
staring and
standing in lines
throwing up thoughts
nobody sane can imagine
garbage
groups of disorganized fucks
everywhere
hate and anger
where is my power
to laugh out loud
i don't have it anymore
i isolate love
and exaggerate the monster within
to crack skulls and see blood
young girls lay moribund
i cause casualties
proper damages
neat and tidy streets
painted by carnage
screams and weeping
my daily wine
my alimental vomit
i lied
i wake up
and find myself
crying in my bed
alone
crushed
unable
just me
skin disease
the lies i fought for
became my unwearable truth
my peacetime suit of armor
my white flag of warfare
the hundred years passed
and i am still there
where i begun
open
in the field
loose cannons pop everywhere
as i do my little charming dance
to not get swept away
before my turn
before my time
ragged and dirty
i titter in agony
