2024-09-09

Ooglor, The Scholar

A somewhat distinguished Orang-Utan Scholar, though at a spry 238 years young, is barely more than a teenager by his people’s standards. Raised amidst the steamy chaos of Delthrak’s jungles, Ooglor honed his intellect under the enigmatic Master Banook, the infamous Tamer of the Lesezeichen Tribe, within the hallowed, and slightly overstocked, halls of Bibliotekopolis.

Growing up in the lesser-known, and slightly questionable, Keep of Ostebrem (which, incidentally, has yet to be found on any respectable map), Ooglor developed not only his wit but also an uncanny ability to stretch his arms to remarkable lengths—mostly to snatch books from under the noses of local riffraff, occasionally resulting in the odd scuffle where he found himself having to administer a few well-aimed paws, against the sort of unscheduled parade of things that go bump, rattle, and grumble in the night - a group of friends you’d only keep if you had a necromancer on speed dial. So, Nothing too serious. Before taking root in Bibliotekopolis, Ooglor journeyed across Delthrak, meticulously mapping its verdant splendor. Having completed this grandiose bout of exploration (which involved less mapping and more enthusiastic drinking than he might admit), Ooglor now keeps his eyes wide open, constantly aware of any new knowledge that might cross his path—or any foe foolish enough to disrupt his studies.


This venture, apart from improving his cartography skills, left him with a somewhat suspicious knowledge of magic and an unhealthy obsession with the board game known as Life’s Great Feasts. Having left his wild baby steps behind, Ooglor now leads a rather reclusive hermit’s life in the grand library of Kreuzhügel, never far from a dusty tome or two.


His magnum opus, The Houses of Ill Repute in Delthrak and Delara,, remains a bestseller in the Delthraki travel community. In his spare time, when not deciphering occult pasta recipes or pondering the culinary uses of rare herbs, Ooglor can be found writing scathingly accurate OoogleMaps reviews, much to the delight of local shopkeepers.


He takes great pride in being a well-read Delthraki ape—unlike some other characters who might feel differently. He looks down on those visiting so-called “heroes” sometimes, scoffing with light loathing disdain and thinking, “You barbaric sewer crawlers! Shhh! Read a book for once.” Though, to be fair, he does have a soft spot for the elf—one of the few who understands the importance of well-preserved scrolls.


Starting Equipment:

  • Self-Published Book of Wisdom: Detects traps and secret doors in a room or corridor.
  • Recipe of Life e Olio: Once per battle, adds 4 Body Points to either the Scholar or an ally.

Abilities:

  • Manic Simian Impulsiveness: Once per battle, the Orang-Utan Scholar can completely dodge an enemy attack.
  • Streets of Delthrak: Once per battle, Ooglor can roll 3 attack dice instead of 2.

Character Sheet:


Attack Dice: 2

Defense Dice: 2

Body Points: 5

Mind Points: 5

2024-08-31

There i was again


Again feeling lost

Again not enough

Again chasing instead of creating

Another tumble, another large-scale coin flip

Will I again convert this life into new satisfaction

As I did before with youthful gusto

Do I still have the vigor of days past

Or am I nearer the burnout than the explosion


As I comb through my howls of 12 years ago

I see the same person still withstanding the same wraiths

Muscles expanded beyond the secular, tho

This friction be like gains

I fought and won

I doubted and overcame

Nothing new, mate

I tell myself

As I ponder if I should throw this day away or use it

Time flies when you live

And I lived

Not yet there, sharing the caelum with the divinity

But touched so many Numina—

You can call me seraphic


I got what I desired

And I will get it again

My dominion is my creation

For decades now

That never altered

Thank the universe

And will never be swayed

I’m proud of that

I can say I did it my way

And I will go on like that

I tell myself while I ponder if I should throw away another day

Or use it


You did it, my g

Don’t forget

You’ve been here before

And will be again

Lost in loathing

Pondering the orb

Instead of finishing up


But do not dismantle yourself

Raise your vital force tall

Treasure you

Outstandingly in times of distraction

And you will find control

As you found mastery

Which will lead, like before,

To foreseen and hard-earned bliss

2024-08-30

use your world

 Everything changes.

Every move we make shifts something in this world.

Every action, we take as a community, a society, or as individuals, leaves an impact.

Things change.

Nothing ever changes, is a nihilistic lie.

Of course, some things remain, or patterns resurface,

constantly.

But to simply shrug it off and say nothing changes is a Miscalculation.


People die. They do.

And new ideas are born every day.

Every scream, every breath and every thought, changes things.

Often for the worse, for children and their parents, but mostly for the best.

The world is on the up and up. Never before have our bellies been fuller.

We look for Cures daily.

Some to steal more, some to give back.

Some answers rape, some heal.

And still, we strive and prosper.

Still, we are not done here.

Still, there are more of us.

Still, we are blind, ripping for the last piece of cake.

We don’t have enough. We want more.

But not to lose the thread—

This gift,

God’s paradise,

Lush and breathing,

Black Friday, every day.

It’s the prime time, baby, the best in recorded history.

So why bicker?

We need to use this galactic tin foil as a receiver,

a hearing aid for the wonders of the universe.

As we did, before the records, I believe.

All we forgor,

we can find again.

The connection is out there.

Let’s plug in,

And we will use the world we are born into as a beacon, not a warning.

2023-12-06

for as long as it takes

one winter evening elevated to hell
i sat down nearly lifeless for a think
a glass with transparent punch in hand
and an angel or banshee howling in my head

there are devils out there
with torches in their hands
screaming for legs and arms
of other men
scattered all around
you only find chit
little limbs
severed and cursed
some prayed for,
some prayed, then cursed
and prayed and raped some more

i turn my face away
and dream of you
dream of yesterday
all the kids were singing
we kissed
and danced
what a pity
i could have been someone
well so could anyone you say
my mind is battering me
you took my dreams from me
and still cant make it out alone
even built my dreams around you
you cheap bum
you dopey slut
you commie faggot
you looser hippie
now you wanna spend your money on girls who forgot you
i love guap more than you
pair of teary brown eyes
talking to the walls
nobody wins
another future slain

pain and sorrow
darkens every street
where is the promised solace
i reminisce
of free poison
and foreign lands
orgies in frankfurt
the jazz in 'dam
and syph in 'arcelona
good times
never ending gin bottles
paid to be there
paid to be fun
and germans happy to pay
no rattling death trains
to poland anymore
and me
still waiting at the station
all i wanted is to suck cock,
eat pussy and get high
even the black shirts didnt curse the yids anymore
to have it all we thought
spewing on their churches
freedom to finally be
and never grow old in this loney hell

not for long tho
they hate the liberated child
they torture it out of you
they have laws against you
they get promoted for enslavement
and god is in their heaven
judges and coppers are just another tool
innocent rot in man made hells
all for the whores of the empire
infants kicked down
and shot in the back of the head
for stability
and peace

will the grass grow over these graves
will the rare old stuff flow again
will the pagan, christian, muslim or jew
hunt or receive me
a revolutionary without a psychiatrist
no master above me
on point like a dot
no pills or doctor can relieve thee
only love
the ghost that haunts us
publicly executed,
hung and crucified
overly dramatic
and still alive somewhere
it belongs to all
and none at all
pass it on, pass it on
till all is felt
until every eye is filled with wonder
like the eyes that my mother gave me
a rainy cloud for a barren dying land
it is a river that runs all day
cling to it and the wave will heave you out of here
all is well i say to myself
for as long as it takes

2023-11-15

motionlessness

im sitting still
another day in this chair
helplessly hooked on drab
hugged by the habit again
its extremities kneading my wings
weeks float by
i cough

today i change! i say
A NEW DAY!
as i remember hours of past
when i actually DID the labour

new patterns need to emerge!
as i rearrange the beat of this week
current flow is only stress
i tell myself while dreaming of its simplicity
another tempo needs to be played
more effort in the slog
less easy, more hard
i tell myself while i move painless today

just another day
keep yourself loved (by yourself)
tell yourself there is a tomorrow
and you will amuse that accent again
that language only you can make out
find your strength! (oy vey)
what an old chestnut i think
as i nut again
just to identify as living

today i changed
at least one thing
tomorrow another
and another
and so it goes
they say...
...i anticipate

come on, its more than that
rearrange
reschedule
set up and
reshuffle
fluff up, my boy!
clock the effort
sweat out those donkey duties
and run this function, i tell ya!

i love this ardour in you
now shit out the turds
and sell this zeal to the lifeless
god damn it

i heard ya i heard ya
i fathom the memo
the note is on my desk
i read it twice, yesterday
and will read it again, tomorrow
so in the end...
...the engine will start, no worries there
and my expression will find its organ
but for now i will close this txt
eat an egg
and sit here again
not completely static anymore
i ruffled some dust
and opened some whoop-ass on y'all
but that is not "DOING IT"
so far
its us
sunk in

2023-06-13

im cutting a movie

im cutting a movie
im cutting a movie
im cutting away
as i did before
cutting cutting
cutting away
more weight to it this time
heavy lies the paranoia
as i blunder thru these sequences
my first movie
a movie
a real fucking movie

more like an overhyped music video
i tell ya
shut your fucking cunt
self doubt raped by egomania
i cut in my insecurities
another sequence
another little story
of a lost person
oh my oh my you think
another helpless boy
go to therapy!
another hour 
another 200 buckaroos
what does she think
when i tell her i want hegel in my bitches
back to the grindset bruski
another day another little scene
it forms
it feels
its me
a fucking movie
who would have thought
could have done it before
but this is the right time
it feels good
nothing does
ok chill emo hoe
family is great
isolation helps with the progress
music feeds me with young blood
so what is there to whine about?

nothing
my brain feels like hurting me again
its not nothing
its a movie
so why you call it that
why I call it that
its not another person
hunting you
bewildered
constant side changes
only the current craft
draws a red line to follow
and i follow
cut the movie, man
DO IT
keep at it
this is the way
what else is there
your mom, your cousins and nephews and this
im proud of you
im happy with you
im good at this
im cutting a movie
and its a draft, if not finished


2023-05-15

its big business

who is ruling you
where does the money come from
how does it flow
what does it create
who is the crown
in deep waters
lost
and alone

we cry out for change
as i said before 
change costs.
are you paying for it?
with your life?
with your hard earned cash?
bills in hand
screaming!

HERE I AM
A HUMAN!
i have a voice
and something to say
will you listen
or speak over me

the money does
as i watch another episode 
of big-budget social critique
hbo showing off
a dream to follow
i get lulled into
THINK!
but forget
dont go out
dont actually do something about it
stay in
watch
talk about it 
even raise your voice

"you see!"
thats what i told you
big business 
the enemy
selling off
our emotions
our only hope
our only chance
our only trade
a barter
another pretentious mind
writing down thoughts of rebellion
against who
the power of capital?

dont you wanna be part of it
part money
part human
who needs them
down there

who am i even
to fucking align
myself to them
poor basterds
scraping
hungry
cold
who are they?
if not me.

rambling again
following a notion
drunk
10 euro whiskey down my throat
its a weekday

you listen
i hope
utterly scared
that this is a waste

of time
and mind
listening to somebody 
who could not rile up
a hand full of change
from these big buddies
with their big accounts
its a brand portfolio
and im not part of it

got off track
in your drunken stupor
lush ideas 
something to say!
you remind yourself
that you are...
a human.
worth something

they dont see that
how should they
robots
the ai is nothing new
middle management
is birthing them for eons
branding is their face
money is their heart
consumers the slaves
and souls are dead 
nothing new on tv
business as usual

coffee is for closers only
you call yourself a salesman
where is your office
paid your taxes
before you even get a job
commie faggot
for years in your room
screaming for equality
and gettin overlooked
when it finally arrives
its big business bubbe
and its prize is freedom

only one thing counts
the scrutiny of the customer
ARE YOU INTERESTED
do i have your attention
the kids scream
as i screamed
for ice cream
did i get my scoop?
or was i left with just a wiff

i remain productive!
it may take brass balls to sell
but bronze ones to persist
as i get more and more fractured
into dialectic with my own timidness
and shriek about hegel and deleuze
to apparently awake minds
when they are locked up in self therapy and tik tok reformation
all hustlers crave publicity
i say to myself 
and wave away another misunderstanding
another human interaction that lead to a dead end
im not woke im tired
the message of free enterprise is gay
stay a slave to the freewheeling commonwealth of cheap product
and you will be permitted your sodomy
or hate it.
with you whole body and heart
cause our subsidiary has the good shepherd plushy on sale for you too
praise the ends and ignore all the means
anything, except shrinking profits
you cant cope?
well crucifixion awaits the non believers

our city sold to cocktail parties
another branded sideshow
filled with giddy whirl of thieves
cheap and greed as nourishment for the 'left'
finally a black woman playing the tunes!
as the same white quacks, clowns and philistines
fill their gimp pockets with your consciousness
what a social event 
everybody was there, politically pure, fought the patriarchy
paid by specks of dust
from old money fonds
charity is not taxed you know
we only want a mite of your essence
as they viciously tear whole chunks out of you
an inhuman orgy fueled by guestlists and free rum
everybody anti establishment until they get the invite
one victory after another for big money
a new branch opened, another office build
and only the nine-to-fivers get the chance to shine
what a heap i think 
in my boxers, pale and pessimistic
another blow out for the status quo
with non-transparent windows tinted in rainbows
where are the revolutionaries?
i whine to myself in gucci slippers, while slurping on instant coffee
did i sold out too?
or am i the last mammoth without a boss
as they turn to jelly at the sight of cameras
i turn away
im not a trained pig
and when other mill around like sheep
waiting for the photographer to push the magic button
so they can say
I WAS THERE
i feel sad that i wasn't
but also vigorously unshackled
blood pumping thru my veins again
what they disposing off
at horrendous tolls
i ain't buying
their luxury smells like day-old shit
shutting it out
goin to war for myself again
keep a childish flame fed
'poor' me against the illiterate infidels
delusional
with absolute morality?
may be.
if you think something,
then be that thing.
i tell myself
look forward or look back...
that's life.
here is your moment
use it
heave yourself out
of self administered fright
whats the point of worry
they gonna make a buck
you gonna have too
they gonna spend some of it
you gonna have too
in the end
what is left
besides us
is only big business

2023-05-07

 i shot a movie.