as i took the first line after several clean months,
something changed in me
i couldn‘t put my finger on it,
but it wasn‘t pleasant
a chemical reaction indeed
but how could i
as a logic individual,
leave me so helpless or even explain myself
with such an effortlessly answer
there was something else
something horryfying
something deep down
my soul
that i,
in my life-long addiction,
didn‘t saw
or was scared of
hopefully later i will find or define it
i took another
