2023-06-13

im cutting a movie

im cutting a movie
im cutting a movie
im cutting away
as i did before
cutting cutting
cutting away
more weight to it this time
heavy lies the paranoia
as i blunder thru these sequences
my first movie
a movie
a real fucking movie

more like an overhyped music video
i tell ya
shut your fucking cunt
self doubt raped by egomania
i cut in my insecurities
another sequence
another little story
of a lost person
oh my oh my you think
another helpless boy
go to therapy!
another hour 
another 200 buckaroos
what does she think
when i tell her i want hegel in my bitches
back to the grindset bruski
another day another little scene
it forms
it feels
its me
a fucking movie
who would have thought
could have done it before
but this is the right time
it feels good
nothing does
ok chill emo hoe
family is great
isolation helps with the progress
music feeds me with young blood
so what is there to whine about?

nothing
my brain feels like hurting me again
its not nothing
its a movie
so why you call it that
why I call it that
its not another person
hunting you
bewildered
constant side changes
only the current craft
draws a red line to follow
and i follow
cut the movie, man
DO IT
keep at it
this is the way
what else is there
your mom, your cousins and nephews and this
im proud of you
im happy with you
im good at this
im cutting a movie
and its a draft, if not finished