Another line—
and again you don’t write
Another line—
her face is obscene perfection
Another line—
why the hell do you never shut up
Another line—
her smell cuts through the static
Another line—
your life is simple, but you twist it into barbed wire
Another line—
lighter, yes, it gets lighter, until it doesn’t
Another line—
she throws a song into the room, and suddenly i breathe again
Another line—
fun, goddamn it, fun
Another line—
this is supposed to be fun
Another line—
you believe in yourself until the snow runs dry
Another line—
her legs, her neck, your half-mast cock
Another line—
the mess of being alive
Another line—
your dreams always make sense in the fever dream
Another line—
I am what I will, even if the will is cracked
Another line—
I come in her, thank Christ for her blood
Another line—
time is a crooked joke
Another line—
and still it keeps me pulsing
Another line—
I get angry at everything I see
Another line—
chasing the next distraction
Another line—
chemical spark or despoiling of ruin
Another line—
clawed my way forward a hundred times, only to collapse in the sick joy of escape
Another line—
doubting, cursing, loving, failing, trying again
Another line—
because the crooked truth is I already have what I wanted, and yet it’s never enough
Another line—
the world spins, I spin
Another line—
too good, too few, too fragile, and still orbiting
Another line—
I swear I’ll do better
Another line—
and I sink back into the velvet swamp of my own excuses
Another line—
another line of confession
Another line—
the ugly miracle of breathing
Another line—
no ending, no redemption
Another line—
just the raw stench of survival
Another line—
racket in my head
Another line—
an absurd compulsion to keep going
Another line—
still furious, not loose
Another line—
trying to scratch down stray reflections
Another line—
before these walls finally cave in.
