butt meat

butt meat

and orange wine

holy fire

what a human

better, clearer, crueler

she gets it right

every time, with ease

she makes it a home

automatic gear

driving reckless

near her faster

with my soul 

rock hard

her warm skin

and sweet smell waiting

wet

she cracks the ceiling

she burns the doubt

she lifts the carcass

she howls me clean

another kiss

another touch

another nut

what holy madness

she makes it holy

she makes it real

she makes it possible

she makes it easy

more speed

scream loud

heart split open

stomach rough

breath gone

life given back

drained in sweat

on memory foam

i inhale her

and exhale purity

she does it all right

perfect even

she makes me want it

she makes it possible

she makes it bearable

I praise her

I praise this goddamn life

and I praise what I will become

if not already am

don’t you worry

get up, young soldier

and walk towards the light

with all this luck and all this gifted might

only one thing left to do, my luv

and that is to write

Another line

 Another line—

and again you don’t write

Another line—

her face is obscene perfection

Another line—

why the hell do you never shut up

Another line—

her smell cuts through the static

Another line—

your life is simple, but you twist it into barbed wire

Another line—

lighter, yes, it gets lighter, until it doesn’t

Another line—

she throws a song into the room, and suddenly i breathe again

Another line—

fun, goddamn it, fun

Another line—

this is supposed to be fun

Another line—

you believe in yourself until the snow runs dry

Another line—

her legs, her neck, your half-mast cock

Another line—

the mess of being alive

Another line—

your dreams always make sense in the fever dream

Another line—

I am what I will, even if the will is cracked

Another line—

I come in her, thank Christ for her blood

Another line—

time is a crooked joke

Another line—

and still it keeps me pulsing

Another line—

I get angry at everything I see

Another line—

chasing the next distraction

Another line—

chemical spark or despoiling of ruin

Another line—

clawed my way forward a hundred times, only to collapse in the sick joy of escape

Another line—

doubting, cursing, loving, failing, trying again

Another line—

because the crooked truth is I already have what I wanted, and yet it’s never enough

Another line—

the world spins, I spin

Another line—

too good, too few, too fragile, and still orbiting

Another line—

I swear I’ll do better

Another line—

and I sink back into the velvet swamp of my own excuses

Another line—

another line of confession

Another line—

the ugly miracle of breathing

Another line—

no ending, no redemption

Another line—

just the raw stench of survival

Another line—

racket in my head

Another line—

an absurd compulsion to keep going

Another line—

still furious, not loose

Another line—

trying to scratch down stray reflections

Another line—

before these walls finally cave in.